


Fish Puns and Glitter

by wickedradical



Category: Homestuck
Genre: First Homestuck fic, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:59:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8138188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wickedradical/pseuds/wickedradical
Summary: You tried to tell yourself that you hated that stupid fish lady, that you never wanted to see her again, that you hated every little thing about her, but..You couldn’t.You found yourself waiting for her next visit, you found yourself staring at the glitter she’d left from the previous day’s visit. Even her previously obnoxiously loud music that blared, drilling itself into your brain seemed softer, more amicable.





	

You sighed. Playing that random video game had never been a good idea, you now regretted even ever downloading it in the first place. Besides several other things that had gone wrong, you had no way to leave or quit now that you started. Even suicide would result in becoming a ghost, and that would make life even lamer, if possible.

You’d never been one to stick to games when they got boring or hard, but it wasn’t like you could just turn back time and take away the meteors that had blasted Earth into oblivion. You doubted even the most powerful time payer could do that, human or otherwise.

But here you were, sitting around on this gog forsaken giant spaceship. It felt like you’d been trapped in this place for millennia, but that couldn’t be right. Only the highest blooded trolls could ever live so long, and you were only a mere human. Still.. It had been a very long time, even so since the last time the captain of the ship had checked up on you.

While you shouldn’t have been surprised to meet aliens, as you were sent to another planet after your home one had been destroyed, it was a pretty surreal experience. The aforementioned captain of the ship was such, large orange horns topping a mass of curly black hair that was only barely a shade darker than her pitch skin. Her dark fins were pierced several times over, gold jewelry curled around her slender wrists and forearms as well. And yet, despite her the undeniable foreign aspects of her appearance, she looked elegant, fitting of her royal standing, almost ethereal.

However, even showing off the golden tiara that constantly hugged her forehead, reminiscent of an angel’s halo, she certainly did not act as such. She was sloppy and didn’t seem to really care about the effects her actions caused. What regal expectations her semblance commanded all disappeared when she actually spoke. Her voice was coarse and her language was harsh and disrespectful, save in cases when she spoke of herself, in which case her words were confident and egomaniacal.

The first you’d heard her speak, you could barely keep your jaw from dropping to the floor. Despite her commandeering stature, the rumors of her untold powers, the drones under her power, she had an accent that could only be described as _ghetto_ , and used plenty of completely out of place fish puns. You hadn’t seen any fish around, and the only thing about her that could be described as aquatic were her fins.. Maybe it was part of her schtick?

Fish puns and glitter. You could barely believe this was actually happening to you, it was so surreal.

However, the real thing that bothered you about your current situation wasn’t the fact that you were stuck in a bight red cell with nowhere to go and nothing to do, but the fact that you had to listen to incredibly loud pop music that was even worse that the crap most popular Earth radio stations had barfed daily. It was in some alien language, but you could discern a few curse words here and there.

You wanted to gouge out your ear canals by the third hour of that awful garbage passed, but you’d been here for what seemed like countless days, nights, weeks, possibly even _months_ already. And every day, the oh-so grand captain herself sashayed into your cell without so much as an ‘excuse me,’ smug grin across her bright fuchsia lips. Aside from her makeup, the bright stripes of her pisces symbol painted catsuit blatantly screamed her royal blood color and higher status.

You’d been scared of her when she’d first come to check up on you, her immaculately curled hair filling the room like the many twisting tentacles of the horrorterrors. She’d shoved her face right up next to yours, needing to lean down to meet your face due to your rather short stature. Her eyes flickered red and blue for a second, and you’d blinked in surprise, but by the time you’d gained your bearings she was already out the door, without a word.

However, she’d gradually grown to like you, and with every smile that crossed her thin lips, you found your own curling into a grimace. It had taken tremendous amounts of courage for you to finally squeak out a question to her, and you weren’t sure whether she’d even heard you at first. “Leave?” Harsh cackling erupted from her lithe frame, and she tossed her head back in pure amusement. “Oh dahlin, you ain’t doin’ _none_ a _that_ any time soon!”

At your incredulous look, she’d stifled further laughter. “Don’t be shellfish, hon, ya just can’t be trusted yacht, yah sea?” Still, that day she’d actually touched you, her hands cold as they ghosted across your cheekbone. “Ya _mine_ , I’ll do whatebber I want wit’ ya.” Your face turned a shade darker when she’d actually blown you a little _kiss_ , swinging her wide hips as she sauntered out.

So, as you sat in your immaculately shined cell, without so much as even a mere window to stare out of, you found yourself lonely. You were always alone, and had found yourself to be getting used to it(not that you had much choice in the matter), but only now was the solitude beginning to bother you. You tried to tell yourself that you hated that stupid fish lady, that you never wanted to see her again, that you were going to escape this wretched cell, but..

You couldn’t.

You found yourself waiting for her next visit, you found yourself staring at the glitter she’d left from the previous day’s visit. Even her previously obnoxiously loud music that blared, drilling itself into your brain seemed softer, more amicable. The cell(she’d call it shell) was all too empty, the lack of her presence a sudden, gaping void that try as you might, you couldn’t fill with common sense. She trapped you here with barely any food and even less company! And you weren’t a very social person, but you were starting to go mad.

You were starting to _miss_ her.

**Author's Note:**

> i cant believe my first homestuck fic is a reader insert  
> I ALSO CANT BELIEVE there arent more condesce/reader fics out there  
> i am here to fix the latter issue


End file.
